Part 2 of our mediation special starts off with the practical question of how you might get a mediator, or suggest to someone that mediation might be a helpful way forward. We look at things to bear in mind while doing that, and finally how mediation techniques can help us counteract polarisation.

Where to find a mediator:

Email us at unlockingconflict@crux.org.uk if you have any questions and we can point you in the right direction.

 

Family mediation: https://www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk/

Civil & commercial mediation: https://civilmediation.org/mediator-search/

Community mediation:

 

If you live in the London boroughs of Wandsworth, Islington or Camden, our community mediation services can help you for free:

Wandsworth: www.wandsworthmediation.co.uk

Camden & Islington: www.crux.org.uk 

 

In this mediation special, we look at how mediation can help transform seemingly hopeless situations. We hear how from the courts, to the workplace to the street, mediation creates a space where people travel from toxic conflict to relief. And we find out how Stephen, Sharon and Phil discovered mediation themselves.

What can we do when we keep having the same issue or argument with someone? We look at how and why arguments repeat themselves, and how to break the cycle, including:

  • Why timing matters
  • How powerful changing the conversation is, even when you continue to disagree
  • Ways to bring clarity and resolution to deeply rooted issues.

NB: You don’t need to do this on your own - sometimes you need support. Look out for our next episode on mediation and conflict coaching for how other people can help in a conflict situation.

 

Episode links:

 

If you’re interested, this article covers The Drama Triangle and how you can break out of it if you find yourself in it:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/remyblumenfeld/2018/12/07/how-to-transform-your-relationships-by-getting-creative/

 

Continuing our focus on difficult conversations, we ask: what if someone isn’t telling you what’s going on? Maybe you suspect they’re annoyed with you, or maybe you’ve had an argument and everything’s gone silent since….or maybe they’re just not being themselves and you’re not sure why. We look at how to open up conversations when there’s an elephant in the room.

 

Plus: friendships that drift, the difference between needing space and avoiding conflict and how to create space for honest conversations.

 

 

July 10, 2020

De-escalating conflict

What can we do when a conversation is going really wrong, in the heat of the moment? This week, we look at de-escalating conflict. How can we notice when a conversation is getting out of control, and how can we turn it back around?

Plus: conflict by text/social media, and what happens when someone doesn’t listen.

 

Episode links:

How I survived workplace bullying: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmRKlZEXVQM

Acas website for advice on workplace rights and grievance procedures: www.acas.org.uk

And the Acas helpline: 0300 123 1100

Mediation:

www.wandsworthmediation.org.uk

www.crux.org.uk

 

We look at preparing for difficult conversations: why it matters, and techniques for how to do it, so you can have the conversations you want to have, rather than the ones you regret.

Plus: Sharon and Phil share how they psych themselves up for conversations they’d rather avoid, and Fiona reveals how she feels about Stephen’s moth-counting habits.

We’d love to hear from you – if you have any questions or feedback, feel free to email us at unlockingconflict@crux.org.uk.

Further resources and support:

Mediation and Conflict:

www.crux.org.uk

www.peacewell.org.uk

www.wandsworthmediation.co.uk

Counselling/individual therapy:

You can find a full list of free services on the NHS website: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mental-health-helplines/

We look at one of the most underestimated skills in life: listening. We all want to be listened to, and we all hate it when we’re not listened to. But it’s easy to talk about and hard to do. We look at just how powerful good listening can be, what happens when we do it badly, and how it can turn situations around.

Brene Brown video on empathy and sympathy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw

We explore nonviolent communication and how it can transform our conversations  - from everyday irritations to the big conversations that seem impossible to approach. 

Resources: 

The Centre for Nonviolent Communication, where there are useful links to feelings and needs lists: https://cnvc.org/

 

 

In this episode, we begin with the first question: why bother thinking about conflict? Can you learn how to handle conversations better and what happens when you do?

Plus: how our brains are wired to freeze, fight or fly and why thinking of an iceberg can help you.

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